Chopped Caprese Bruschetta Chicken Cutlets
healing childhood perfectionist trauma with chicken, breadcrumbs, and tomatoes.
it happens every time, whether i like it or not. i arrive at my parents' house and somehow i simultaneously revert to being 13 again. suddenly everything annoys me and i can’t perform a chore to save my life; the only thing that reminds me that i am, in fact, rooted in reality and not having a minor stroke is that my outfit hasn’t changed into some mangled Hot Topic uniform complete with a studded belt and over-the-top black eyeliner. and even though my side bangs haven’t reappeared, or the instinct to stick my tongue out in pictures hasn’t kicked in, i still feel like the same moody teenager i was back then.
my parents are divorced, so seeing them separately brings out two very different sides of me. when i’m with my dad, i revert back to my perfectionist tendencies in a way that would scare even the strictest of life coaches. nothing i do feels good enough, and i find myself constantly trying to impress him. it's not that he’s demanding or hard to please… well, actually, he is, but he can’t help it! regardless, he’s very supportive. but isn’t it funny how we put these standards on ourselves as children, and they somehow stick around to haunt us as we get older? during my most recent trip to visit him, i was hell-bent on making him a dinner that absolutely rocked his world. i’m his daughter, a professional food blogger and recipe developer, look at me go! i’m successful! i make good food! you’re gonna eat it. and you’re gonna like it.
with the knowledge that my dad is both a picky eater and a tough critic, i spent days prior to my arrival thinking about what i was going to cook for him… the only logical answer was chicken cutlets, because everyone loves chicken cutlets. you might think it’s a hot take, but i feel solid about this claim. chicken cutlets are practically an adult version of chicken fingers, and if we’re reverting to childhood tendencies, we might as well go all in.
the cooking experience went exactly as expected: i yelled at everyone in the room multiple times throughout the process until i was near tears. i needed the cutlets to be the *perfect* golden brown (which, of course, almost ended in an overcooked disaster with the second batch) and the rice, made in their “fucking old-ass shit-ass rice maker” (direct quote, by me!), didn’t turn out as I’d hoped. but, in the end, the cutlets were served, and my dad loved them. and how do i know this? well, he’s physically incapable of lying about what he likes or doesn’t like (and where do you think i got my perfectionist tendencies from?!).
a couple of months later (two weeks ago), once tomato season hit, i got really into the idea of making a chopped caprese salad with a classic bruschetta marinade — the best of both worlds. it’s legitimately one of the tastiest, tangiest, and easiest salads to whip up and is the perfect summer side dish. i quickly realized that it would be almost offensive not to serve this salad on top of a chicken cutlet.
so, there you go — a little childhood trauma turned recipe! it takes less than 30 minutes to make, and i promise you it’s so, so delicious. to confirm, i did some impressive sleuth work and got an unbiased opinion from my dad, who has no idea i’m posting this here:
Chopped Caprese Bruschetta Chicken Cutlets
ingredients
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to On The Rocks to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.