How I Stay Sane During The Holidays

a little guide to how i keep from losing my shit during the Christmas season (barely)

the holidays are equal parts exciting and exhausting. with every single influencer coming out with a gift guide (guilty) and videos of them tree decorating (not guilty), the holidays mostly just feel like an overplayed-Mariah-Carey vibe. i’m not trying to be negative, but here’s a lot to juggle: gift-giving (on a budget), family drama (don’t tell me you don’t have it), and the sneaky little feeling that you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself at all costs. and if you’re not cheerful 24/7, it’s easy to feel like you’re somehow doing the holidays wrong.

this might be a hot-take, but i don’t think anyone emerges from December fully zen.

case in point: two years ago, i got into a blowout fight with my mom. imagine my boyfriend—sweet, non-judgmental angel—sitting on the staircase while my mom and i screamed and sobbed at each other for a solid ten minutes. like, truly losing our shit. the next day, we hugged, made up, and laughed about it over hot chocolate, but still. the holidays do that to you.

walking into my parents’ house is like stepping into a time portal where I’m 14 again—angsty, eye-rolling, and convinced no one gets me. pair that with the pressure of trying to “be festive,” and it’s absolute motherfucking chaos! anyone else?

there are a few ways i’ve learned to (mostly) avoid that meltdown energy. take what you need and leave what you don’t. LOVE YOU LOTS && HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

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create your own quiet moments.

before diving into the chaos, i like to carve out small pockets of peace. morning coffee or tea with a journal, 10 minute meditation, a quick walk around the block, or locking myself in the bathroom for five deep breaths and a Substack scroll. it’s about reclaiming space for yourself, even with a full house and a packed schedule.

set !! boundaries !!

if sweet aunt Susan’s opinions are getting spicy (read: annoying as fuck), it’s okay to step away. literally. “i’m going to check on the pie” is my go-to excuse. spoiler: there’s no pie.

be honest about gifts.

not down to spend $60 on a weird trinket for your brother? i get it. instead of buying stuff no one needs, i love a handwritten note or small DIY gifts. you can make cookies with a note that says “congrats you’re my favorite brother” even if he’s your only brother.

reframe family time.

family drama hits differently when you shift your mindset. instead of bracing for disaster, i focus on small wins: laughing over old stories, bonding over food, or making it through dinner without someone storming out.

let yourself feel what you feel.

if you’re not feeling the holiday cheer, that’s okay. it doesn’t mean you’re a grinch. you’re allowed to feel tired, sad, or frustrated. sometimes, staying sane is just letting the emotions flow—and then watching Four Christmases to reset.

surviving when your heart huts.

the holidays are hard enough when you’re fine. add heartbreak into the mix, and suddenly, every twinkly light and holiday love song feels like a personal attack. everyone’s talking about “togetherness,” but what do you do when the person you thought would be by your side isn’t? let yourself grieve. lean on your people. create new traditions. give to someone else. make room for moments of joy.