I'm a Failure and You Are Too

+ journal prompts, a recorded meditation, life on film & radish sandwich recipe!

when i looked up, all I could see was white. i was enveloped in the quiet stillness of snow. caught in the in-between, with only the loud beating of my heart and shaking of my limbs pulling me back to earth. “you are here”, i said.

knee-deep in fresh powder, my anxious thoughts removed me from the moment’s immediacy. flashes to reports of skiers getting injured and scary movies of people getting lost on the mountain consumed me.

no, i’m not a novice; i’ve been skiing for three seasons now. and while i’ll skip the details of those first few years (TnT: tears n’ tantrums), many of my ski days still look a bit like this. i’m starting to move into a flow state… but i fall. a lot. i no longer feel anxious on the drive up to the mountain… but my form is shit. i haven’t cried skiing once yet this year… but compared to most of my friends, i’m terrible.

BUT! learning to ski has taught me to see beyond my fear of failure, and to lean into the joy that comes with embracing the process. as a perfectionist, that free-fall into the inevitability of failure is deeply uncomfortable—but it’s also exactly where the most meaningful growth takes place.

holding these two truths at once—the fun in the process and a not-so-ideal result—has taught me that failure is more about letting go and leaning in. it’s realizing that joy and discovery can exist alongside every step of your journey. it’s about releasing judgment and lightening up on ourselves. no one cares about your failures, and it’s possible to be bad at something and still love it (or at the very least, have a good time).

so often, across social media and the internet, we hear stories that focus only on a person’s success. the business they built, the community they’ve grown, the “dream job” they’ve secured. but we skip over the failure(s) that came before or the stories of failure that will inevitably follow.

maybe it’s about finding the levity in failing and allowing it to lead you down a new, more aligned path. grounding myself in that truth, i think about awkwardly barreling down the mountain screaming my face off to passersby. i’m reminded of all the times i’ve shaken off a bad work day, thrown on some good music, and pumped myself up to try again tomorrow. i think about all that i’ve learned and experienced because i put myself out there—ready to fail, and ready to have a little fun.

take this as a sign to start something. a relationship, a side hustle, a sport, a hobby—start it ready to fail again and again. because if you’re pursuing joy, if you’re living on your own terms with an embrace of whatever comes, you’ll fail. but you’ll also become a more complete and vibrant version of yourself.

5 minute meditation + journal prompts

a short recording for when you feel stressed, anxious or heightened emotions.