The Ultimate Guide to Puppy Parenthood 🐶

Frankie's rescue story, everything we've bought so far, training tips & more!

i grew up with dogs—their paws tapping on the floors, their warm bodies curled beside me. but in my 20s, i knew i wasn’t ready for one of my own. then, about three years ago, the feeling started. i needed a dog. but the timing wasn’t right. until one day, it was.

last fall, i tracked rescues obsessively. then, four days before Halloween, Thomas and i decided: not yet. January, maybe. i muted every rescue account—except one (i swear it was an accident!!). on the afternoon of October 30th, i opened instagram and saw her. huge ears, big eyes. Marinara, from the pasta sauce litter. something in me knew. within minutes, i flooded Thom with texts. surprisingly, he called: should i go get her? we decided to wait. if she was still there in 24 hours, we’d go meet her.

the next day, when we saw her in her pen, she was practically terrorizing her brother, Bolognese. we went into the room to meet them both; he was small, she was huge. our logical minds told us to take him—he seemed gentler, calmer. but she was already bonded to us in a way we couldn’t explain. we sat outside the shelter, debating. maybe we should just go home. we decided to write the name of the dog we wanted on our phones and reveal them at the same time. 30 seconds later, we were walking in to sign the papers to release Marinara.

to say we weren’t prepared is an understatement.

the moment itself was almost too easy—they didn’t ask many questions, just handed her to us, very little paperwork, no checklist, no “are you sure about this?” we didn’t have a crate. we didn’t have a toy. we didn’t even bring a towel. (side note: bring towels.)

so i carried her on my lap as we merged onto the freeway, and at that moment, i felt an overwhelming warmth spread through my thighs. a feeling of deep love? of maternal instinct kicking in? no. she was peeing on me.

we pulled into a PetSmart and she immediately fell asleep while Thom went inside to buy some essentials. it was in these few moments, alone with her sleeping in my lap, that i gained a new understanding that we had no clue what we were doing.

i felt a little like a character in in the show 16 and pregnant—chaotic, unprepared, and completely out of our depth, lol.

we have no backyard; so the first week, we tried to get her to pee and poop on our apartment’s front porch. there we were, whispering pleaseeeeee go potty at 3 a.m. outside the building, only for her to run back inside and immediately pee on the lobby carpet. one night, she even pooped on our neighbor’s doormat. (luckily, that neighbor is one of our best friends and Frankie’s self-proclaimed auntie, so she forgave us.)

her first night at home felt like heaven. she was a sleepy angel. we cycled through names until we landed on Frankenstein. adopted on Halloween, a true mutt—it was perfect. plus, we loved the name Frankie. we texted everyone we knew with her adoption story, showering them with pictures of our perfect, sweet cherub. we had no idea what was coming.

the first eight weeks of having Frankie were the most beautiful, chaotic, anxiety-inducing, and downright terrible weeks of my life. i cried almost every day. if her poop was even slightly soft, i convinced myself she had Parvo. if she shifted in her crate at night, i was certain she was choking. she ripped my favorite vintage Levi’s to shreds. the cycle was constant: she’d misbehave, i’d get frustrated, she’d fall asleep, i’d feel guilty for being upset, and then i’d cry again. it was one of the messiest, most overwhelming periods of my life.

a week after getting her, Thomas left for a pre-planned trip. i’ve always been independent, never afraid to be alone—but this time, i was terrified. i cried for days leading up to it. the first night alone was a nightmare. i took her to a puppy class, where all the other puppies played sweetly, while Frankie “played rugby.” we were asked to leave. i sobbed as i carried her to the car, feeling like a failure, like i had somehow already messed her up. that night, she threw up twice on the couch and shit on the rug.

people told me it would be hard. no one told me it would be this hard. and i’m saying this not to be dramatic, but because if you’re thinking about getting a puppy—especially in a city apartment—i want you to be prepared.

i learned about “puppy blues” from my Google search titled, “can you experience postpartum depression after getting a puppy?” turns out, yes. everyone told me it would get better, but in those moments, it felt like it never would. looking back now, i laugh at the idea that i thought calm puppies didn’t exist. because as i sit here writing this, Frankie is curled up across from me, sleeping soundly.

currently….

honestly, i don’t know how i would’ve survived those first few months without my friends. the ones who sent me lists of must-haves, who reassured me that the puppy blues were real but temporary, who answered my panicked texts about whether her poop was normal. they reminded me that it would get better, that one day i wouldn’t be googling “puppy sleeps too much should i be worried” at 2 a.m. and they were right. also, thanks mom & dad for letting me call and cry to you for weeks on end.

and truly, every single day is better because of Frankie. she gets us outside more. she’s introduced us to new friends. she’s the first real “project” Thomas and i have taken on together, and it has made our relationship stronger in ways i never expected. love is… when you think you’re having a peaceful night, and then your dog shits all over her playpen, steps in it, and you have to run to the fire escape to clean her off while it drips down onto you both.

Frankie is curious and affectionate and knows we are her people. she makes even the most mundane moments feel fun. she is, without a doubt, the best thing to ever happen to us.

highly recommend hiring someone to take photos during the puppy phase! thank you to @tobysfilm

one piece of advice—train the hell out of your dog. relinquish as much as you can in your life for four months and focus on them. it is so worth it. the work we put in during those early days was exhausting, but having a well-trained dog is truly life-changing. they rely on you to shape them into the dog they’re going to be.

and if there’s anything i can tell you, it’s to savor the puppy stage. the puppy smell. the tiny belly. the way their paws are way too big for their body. sing to them, tell them they are loved. because one day you blink, and they aren’t so small anymore.

but just when i thought nothing could be worse than the puppy stage—a couple of weeks ago we welcomed adolescence. counter surfing. ignoring recall. more energy than i ever thought possible. does it ever end?! i guess i’ll let you know in another six to eight months.

below you can find a link to every single item we’ve ordered since getting Frankie—her favorite toys, the best high-value treats, the products that felt like a waste of money, her crate setup, as well as tips i wish i would’ve known in her first few weeks at home. paid subscribers will have the opportunity to comment on this post; please leave any and all advice you have for others reading this!

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i texted a few of my dog mom friends and asked them to give you all one piece of advice for the puppy stage - here’s what they said:

in the rest of this newsletter you’ll find:

• why we like or dislike each product/how we used it/what we used it for

• her daily routine/schedule in the first few months

• potty training (!!!) and the product that saved our life living in an apartment

• the trainers we worked with + my feelings on sending a puppy to kindergarten

• how we dealt with puppy biting and hyperactivity

• socialization tips

keep in mind this is not a complete or comprehensive guide to raising a puppy. this is just the roadmap i wish i had been able to lean on during my toughest days.

everything we’ve bought so far (mostly)

click on the link above to see everything in my amazon storefront. below is mostly everything listed out with more details on how we used it, if we liked it, etc. remember!! every dog is different. Frankie was not toy motivated and had insane energy levels as a large breed working dog. so certain things that didn’t work for us might work for you, vice versa.

Snuggle Puppy — if you also rescue a pup, you won’t get a blanket sent home with you that has their mom’s scent… this is a great alternative. Frankie slept with her “mommy” for the first few months and we know it kept her super calm.

Badlands Ranch Salmon — if there is one treat Frankie will do anything for, it’s this salmon. we’ve been using it for recall training specifically and it’s really helping.

Stella & Chewy’s Weenies — these are great high-value treats used for big training moments (biting, recall, etc). we split them up into fours bc they’re so expensive, lol. and use the scraps to sprinkle over kibble at mealtime!

Fable Leash — we were hesitant to buy this leash but it’s truly the best. we love it so much… we run with it, walk with it, etc. and i hate to say it but it looks cool. also, they can’t chew it. ‘OLIVIANOCEDA20’ gets you 20% off!

Crate Blanket — i’ve had this blanket for 8 years and it turns out it’s the perfect crate cover.

Lola Dog Pad — i was too cheap to buy the bed so i bought the pad and Frankie loves it so much. whenever she’s had enough of us cuddling her on the couch she moves onto her pad. it’s been one of the best purchases! also, i have a 40% off code its ‘OLIVIA40’

Barney Bed — we have not bought this but it’s the one purchase i cannot decide on. it is so expensive and i really can’t decide if it’s worth it or not. if you have one, i’d love to know what you think! anyway, i think these are the cutest beds and i’m 2 seconds away from buying it. (just went to grab the link and they’re having a sale !!!!!)

Long Leash — this waterproof long leash is great for taking your puppy outside and giving them some freedom while also having peace of mind! we used the 30ft until she was about 6 months old, and then upgraded to the 16ft.

Puppy Teething Rings — we tried not to give her too many high value bones in the beginning, and these are great because they’re not super intense but also have enough flavor that she stayed interested.

Car Seat — literally the best car seat ever. not only does Frankie love this, but all of her friends do too. we also use this hammock underneath to keep her fully contained.

Wood Chew Bones — Frankie wasn’t super into these until she got a bit older, but she enjoys them now when she’s super bored before bed. they feel more plastic material than real wood, fyi.

Huff n Puff Stick — our friends suggested putting frozen carrots in this and to use as an enrichment toy, but Frankie hasn’t totally taken to it yet. she gets frustrated and then bored of it pretty quickly.

Pupsicle — this is probably one of the best items we’ve gotten for Frankie. she loves her pupsicle. it’s great for crate training and to calm them down when they’re a bit over hyped and need to focus on something else. highly recommend buying the molds it comes with.

Nature’s Miracle Spray — your dog will have accidents. and this spray is literally the best for getting the odor and stains out. we went through like 3 of these in the first month.

Whimsies — these are healthier dental chews (compared to Greenies)… she likes them only when she’s really bored, but doesn’t love them. she loves Greenies lol.

Yak Cheese Chews — every dog has their thing. Yak Cheese is Frankie’s. ever since we brought her home she has absolutely loved these. they’re not “typical” bones (they’re much safer) and take foreverrrr to get through. to make them softer on her baby teeth, i would soak the Yak for about 30 minutes in warm water before giving it to her. now, we spread a little bit of peanut butter on it after she eats breakfast/dinner to get her started, and she chews on them anywhere from 20-45min.

Grain-Free Crunch — a recommendation we got from our friends; we used them as training treats the first few months. not super high value, but great for walk practice. Frankie loved them.

Green Apple Spray — i was skeptical but this stuff really works. Frankie was never super destructive, but when she put her mouth on my vintage french kitchen chairs i whipped it out SO fast and it actually works!

Bully Sticks — to bully or not to bully, that is the question. we didn’t give Frankie her first bully stick until about 5 months old, and we still give them to her very infrequently. mainly just when we need her to be super occupied—like if we’re out to lunch with friends or packing the car for a trip. these are so long lasting!

Bully Holder — if you do end up letting your dog chew on a bully stick, definitely get a holder for when the stick gets smaller for peace of mind against choking.

Harness 1 — we purchased this harness for her when we first got her and i would highly suggest not buying something like this as it restricts their natural way of moving.

Harness 2 — we bought this harness for her around 4 months but she grew out of it very fast. we didn’t realize she was growing out of it and it started to chafe her armpits so badly! we immediately got rid of it.

Harness 3 — this has been the best harness we’ve had for Frankie though we did have to buy two because she chewed through the first one in the car one day, lol. it’s really great and has lots of length to grow with your dog. we’re now on the hunt for something a little thicker while she’s on her long leash, but i’d say this is overall our favorite harness!

Leash Training — we used this leash when she was really small for in-house leash training!

Chilly Penguin — a great enrichment toy. freeze bone broth or puree in it and give it to them in their crate!

Snuffle Pad — another great enrichment toy we used when she was super hyperactive and overstimulated.

Latex Pig — this toy is great for distracting your dog if they are biting you, lol. she was scared of it at first but now she loves playing with it.

Squirrel Flirt Pole — i stg Frankie is like a cat she is so obsessed with this toy. when she was young it would definitely overstimulate her, so we kept sessions short, but it taught her how to play tug and fed her prey drive! she also loves this one, too.

Feeding Puzzle — this is a really great feeding puzzle!

K9 Sport Sac — this is the backpack we took Frankie out in before she could touch the ground. she grew out of it really fast and would get kind of stressed sitting inside of it, tbh. but it worked for what we needed it for.

Crate Set Up — we bought her this crate (size L) with a divider, make sure you use a divider so they don’t have too much space otherwise they’ll pee/poo in there. she now sleeps in the same crate, but an XL size. the crate opened up to this play pen—the playpen was great for the first month but she grew out of it/got over it super quickly, so we didn’t keep it up as long as most people. and we used this pad underneath it incase she had any accidents.

Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy — this book was recommended to us by her Puppy Class teacher and i read through some of it and really liked it.

Kong Teether — she literally hated this and doesn’t care about it at all.

Elevated Training Mat — this mat is great for training. teaching “place” and helping them find a routine!

Wood Chewing Stick — when Frankie started super teething we wanted to get her a bone that really mimicked wood that didn’t have splinters and this did the trick! she always thinks it’s like a stick from outside.

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Puppy Parenthood, a Roadmap

everything written below is based on our personal experience with having a puppy. i’m not a dog trainer and there’s still so much i don’t know, but these are some tips we learned from our trainers and things we did that really helped us in the first few months.

setting up a puppy proofed house—

say goodbye to everything you love. stuff it in the closet! get it out of the way! i’d recommend choosing one room for the dog’s crate + play pen and make it as puppy friendly as possible. this is where Frankie spent most of her time as a puppy. we had a second crate in our bedroom for bedtime.

how serious we were about Parvo—